I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
