You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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