i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
