I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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