DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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