You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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