It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
