spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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