I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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