She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
