You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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