i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She bit a glass in half.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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