im drinking this country out of the recession.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
