Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
