I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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