You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize