dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
