porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Mom said you looked used
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
