Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
There r osticjed everywhere
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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