I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
