When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
