I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Randomize