ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
