Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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