this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
