I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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