I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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