your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
