This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
