are you still at the devil's house?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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