Plan B is the new Plan A
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
