STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
