Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
