I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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