apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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