physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
