oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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