season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
