Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
