I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
