So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
