Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Randomize
