too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
