great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
