Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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