'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
