just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
