I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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