no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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