DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
