Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
