I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
