fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I understand Curling. That high.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
