after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
