forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize
