the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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