Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
