butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
