I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Houston, we have a blender
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
