what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
