i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
