she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
