i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
