If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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